One of the primary energies I see come up in people in response to life, healing, or change is often resistance. Resistance is that part of us that doesn’t want to accept what is and/or fights against change. It can create major blockages within us, mainly concentrated in the lower three energy centers/chakras, although it can certainly show up in the heart and throat as well.
Sometimes being in resistance can give us a false sense of being in our power because we are being defiant – in refusing to go with the flow of things and letting the current of life lead us, we’re telling the Universe that we are in control and that we know what’s best. Of course, what we’re actually doing is allowing our beloved ego to take the reigns and have its heyday.
When we give it power, our ego loves to say a big fat snarky ‘No!’ to everything that is often in our best interests. Are you on a weight loss plan but keep eating cookies? Resistance. Do you show up for a healing, but spend the entire time judging and analyzing everything about the experience instead of opening to receive? Yep, you guessed it. Resistance. How about all that tension in that one area of your body that flares up whenever things just don’t seem to be going the way you expected or like things to be?
Ironically enough, resistance is not actually the enemy. Yes, it is the sword of the saboteur within, but its deeper underlying function is to try and protect us. It does this however, mostly out of fear – fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of failure/success, etc. This is why it is such a HUGE aspect of the shadow because the shadow encompasses everything that is in the subconscious/unconscious and has not been brought to the Light. Sometimes we are even aware of our resistance and create resistance to the resistance which is even more painful. And yes, resistance is painful because it creates inner strife and left unchecked it can manifest as physical pain and dis-ease.
When we slowly unravel the layers however, we can see that beneath all these defense mechanisms is a very vulnerable, precious part of us that is desperately yearning for our attention. With resistance, we’ve built up this huge fortress in an attempt to protect that child-like part, but in that process we’ve also made it completely inaccessible to even ourselves. So how do we do the work of breaking down that resistance?
First, we have to be able to see it and identify it when it arises. For me, it shows up in my jaw and when it’s really bad I start to grind my teeth at night. Pretty classic when you think about how working with resistance is akin to pulling teeth. So knowing how it shows up in the body is step one. Step two is simply naming it or calling it out. Saying “Resistance is here” or “Hello resistance” out loud will often suffice. We meet it with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment and shame. We acknowledge its presence and function (as a last ditch effort to hold on to what we know we must let go of or surrender to) and thank it for its noble attempt to fight on our behalf.
Sometimes resistance comes in the form of denial, distraction or procrastination – it has so many creative expressions! But what would happen if you had zero resistance? What would it look like if you said YES to the challenges? YES to the discomfort and even YES to the pain? What if you (however subtly) embraced it and willfully danced with it instead of going to battle? I’m not talking about saying yes to just anything and everything that shows up because we have to use our discernment and have a healthy sense of boundaries to say ‘No’ to the things that are not truly in our best and highest interests, BUT when it comes to feelings, emotions, lessons and truths we can’t deny, then perhaps loosening our grip is not such a bad idea.
So after we’ve felt and processed it in our bodies and named it, we can spend some time investigating what the resistance is all about. Where is this coming from? What is it that I’m afraid of? What and why am I trying to protect? Does this feel familiar? When have I felt this way before? Who or what is it that really needs my attention and care?
After we’ve done a bit of our detective work, we can then spend some time holding and acknowledging the inner child in us that is perhaps lost and scared and bring some much needed love and compassion to the equation. You may just find that the resistance you started off with has softened a little (or a lot) and in place of it, there is only Pure Presence and Loving Awareness. Resistance doesn’t have to be cast off into the shadow hinterlands - we can bring it (along with our fear, grief, guilt and shame) to the Light and in slowly dissolving it, integrate it back into our whole being where it no longer has to hide.